Too Much
by Jackson384
Summary: Will Grissom love Sara or is it too much? UPDATED Ch 3
1. Default Chapter

What did she want? He thought as he stood there silently watching her. Grissom always thought he knew but that was before. Somehow seeing her lying in a pool of blood changed everything.

Sara looked up from her work at the microscope to see Grissom at the door looking at her curiously.

"Yes?" she asked quietly.

It had only been one day since she had stood on the other side of that glass and she wasn't ready to give her secret away yet.

"Nothing……….I…………….I just wanted to ask…."

"So ask."

Grissom was quiet. He didn't know if she was mad or……..He sighed. He just didn't know anymore.

"Never mind Sara." said Grissom as he turned and walked away.

Wonderful Sara. You're so brilliant, she thought. Make him hate you even more.

Not that he had always hated her. She knew that wasn't the case now. But she had upset his world and now she was paying. She wouldn't die like Debbie but she would pay just the same.

Sara checked her watch. It was almost morning and she had to be in court bright and early. She finished her work and walked down to the locker room to change into her new outfit she had bought last week. It was a shorter dress that fell just above her knee but it was still modest enough for court. Sara hadn't worn a dress since she was fifteen. A skirt yes, but not a dress. This time she didn't care. She needed to change her life and maybe this dress was just the beginning.

Just as Sara was finished changing, Catherine came in. Sara could feel her stare even with her back turned.

"What? What's with everybody starring at me today?"

"Whoa! Somebody didn't drink their coffee this morning. Relax I was just noticing your attitude change," said Catherine.

"Attitude………..What?"

Catherine looked her up and down.

"A new outfit always means a new attitude in a woman. Not to mention it's a dress. Have you ever even worn a dress before Sara?"

Sara ducked her head and sighed.

"Of course so Catherine. I am a girl you know. I've never danced naked with a pole but I do have all the correct parts."

"Ouch."

Catherine looked genuinely hurt by Sara's words.

"I'm sorry Catherine. I'm just…………." Sara shook her head for lack of words. " I can't…."

"Sara you don't have to explain anything to me. I just came in here to get my bag and then I'll be gone."

Sara didn't know what to say so she just stood there quietly. Catherine got her bag and walked to the door but before she left she turned back to Sara.

  
" You know there are people here who care a lot about you ……..even if they can't admit it."

"I know or……I do now. I just can't wait anymore. I don't even know what I'm waiting for." Sara offered up a sad smile

"I do." Catherine answered. "It might be worth the wait Sara." 

And with that she was gone.

Grissom sat in his office staring at his spiders. This is where I belong, he thought. This is the only place I fit in, alone with my spiders. Not in bed with some young girl who might want me for a second but then realize what an old man I really am. She would move on and leave him with nothing, he was sure of it.

The sound of his door closing broke his train of thought. He turned in his chair to see Catherine giving him one of her "what are you doing" stares.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

Grissom sighed. If there was one thing Catherine was it was true to form and to the point.

"I think the more appropriate question would be what do you want."

"Don't dodge the question Gil. You know what I mean." replied Catherine.

Grissom only looked at her with feigned ignorance.

"Sara!" Gil, Sara!" Catherine said loudly.

"What about her?" Grissom asked turning his chair back to his spiders.

"She's a basket case if you hadn't noticed. She's been that way for awhile but now it's gotten worse since………Debbie."

"Debbie? She saw Debbie?" questioned Grissom with a frightened look on his face.

"Of course she did. She worked the case with us remember?"

" I know. I just……………thought I…….."

"Protected her?" Catherine asked.

There was a few seconds of silence as Grissom looked back to the spiders. Finally he spoke quietly.

"What did she say?" His words came out with a certain sadness.

"It's not what she said. It's how she is. She's like you sound…………….. sad."

"And you think it's my fault?" sighed Grissom.

"Whenever something's wrong with Sara, Gil, it always leads back to you and vice versa for that matter. I've never seen two people so….." Catherine stopped there. She'd said enough. 

"Forget it. Do us all a favor and take care of this, ok Gil?

When Grissom didn't reply Catherine got up and left his office. There was nothing he could say to Sara. He had missed his chance a long time ago and now the promotion would be announced any day and Sara would really hate him then. She wouldn't hang around here much longer when she found out he had given Nick the recommendation. He knew Nick was just as deserving as Sara but sometimes he wondered why he hadn't given it to her instead.  He had been Sara's mentor for so long and he couldn't help but feel that maybe that wasn't such a good thing. After all, he seemed to have made a real mess of things as of late.

Court. I hate court, Sara thought as she opened her locker. She had intended to go home and fall into bed but she had left her apartment keys, of all things, in her locker or so she thought but they weren't in there either. She never lost things. What is wrong with you Sara? she thought.

"Damn!" Sara muttered angrily. "What now?"

"What's wrong?"

Sara startled, turned quickly to see a weary looking Grissom.

"Geez Grissom you scared me. Are you ever going to go home and sleep? You look like hell." 

"Thanks," Grissom smirked

He started to look her up and down.

"You're wearing a dress."

"Yeah, I've been over this with Catherine already,"  Sara replied as she slowly shut her locker door.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them now.

"I like it." whispered Grissom.

"You what?" asked Sara a little surprised. Had she heard him right?

Grissom shrugged as his eyes darted from her face to her legs.

"I told you once that you were beautiful Sara and I meant it."

Sara was speechless. Standing here looking at him this instant was like looking at a broken man. He looked much older than his years and his usually well manicured beard  looked as if it needed trimming three days ago. His weak blue eyes locked intently on hers and never wavered.

"Grissom I………………I never know….."

Grissom seemed to snap to attention.

"Nevermind" Grissom barked. "What was it you came back here for?"

"Um……….my apartment keys. They're gone."

His eyes were still locked to hers. He couldn't believe what he was saying or doing but he was forging ahead just the same.

"Then I'll take you home with me."

"

s


	2. A Change?

Sara's heart had doubled it's speed in a matter of three seconds. Calm down Sara. It isn't what you think.

"Hmmm? I'm sorry, what?"

"Well…. you can't get into your apartment without keys and you have to go somewhere," said Grissom with a small shrug of his shoulders.

Sara decided playing it cool was probably her best option.

"That's what locksmith's are for. You know, unlocking………..doors."

All at once Grissom seemed to fall back into his trance again as he dropped his head and lost her gaze.

"Right," he whispered as he turned to leave.

Then again maybe playing it cool wasn't such a good thing.

"Wait Gris," Sara said as she reached out and gently touched his arm.

Grissom looked at his arm where she had touched him. He could still feel her there even though she had pulled back the second her hand made contact with his bare skin. Did he repulse her that much, he wondered.

She found his eyes again

"You're right. I really need to rest. I've got a change of clothes in my locker. I'll get it and meet you down in the parking lot."

Grissom paused for a second, giving her a chance to change her mind. God how he prayed she wouldn't. He just wanted to be near her. He wouldn't even touch her. If he could just look at her even…………

"Ok…………I'll be outside then."

Grissom left and Sara feared she might collapse. She sat down on the bench in front of her locker. Wasn't this what she always wanted. If she was honest with herself she would admit that Grissom was and always has been her main objective. When he called her in San Francisco she had this same feeling and many times since he had made her heart race to the point of exhaustion, although she doubted he ever noticed. Maybe this was just another one of those times when he would make her crazy for him and then act like there was never anything between them. She couldn't do that again. She was past that now and yet here she was putting herself in that same old position again. Sara didn't know why she was doing this but since she had stood behind that glass and listened to his confession of sorts she had realized that maybe she had gotten it wrong all this time. Maybe Grissom was just as scared as she was. She had always thought him oblivious but now……….she didn't know but this time she was going to find out.

Grissom's head throbbed as he waited for Sara in his car. He rested his head on the seat and closed his eyes. This woman had such a hold on him and this Debbie case had just strengthened her grip. That case should have been a warning to him that this was a bad idea but he was definitely not Lurie and Sara wasn't Debbie. He would never hurt Sara like that. Or would he? Grissom thought opening his eyes. You don't have to kill her to hurt her, thought Grissom. All the possibilities were too much for his aching head to process. What would he do if she touched him again? Which would hurt her more, him pulling away or him risking it all and giving in? And what about him? Would she hurt him? If they made love tonight could they work together tomorrow? Making love? thought Grissom. Who said anything about making love? All he wanted to do was look at her for a while longer. It was harmless, right?

Just then Sara opened the door and slid in.

"Ready," she said with a smile.

The drive to Grissom's apartment was quiet. Which was bad. It gave them both too much time to think about what they were doing and what could go wrong.

 Sara was anxious to see what Grissom's apartment looked like now. It had been so long. She wondered if it had changed. She knew his office hadn't.  It still had the same bugs and spiders that seemed to consume his life. Maybe if his apartment had changed………..

What am I doing, thought Sara. Am I really going to base my idea of him on whether his apartment has been redecorated lately. 

When they arrived Grissom was all gentleman, opening her car door and guiding her with his hand on her back up the flight of stars. You would think we were lovers on our way to some secret love nest, thought Sara. Was that what this was? Sara's heart begin to pound again as Grissom unlocked the door.

The apartment was just what she expected. It hadn't changed a bit. There was that couch. It still didn't look any more comfortable to Sara than it did when she had seen it nearly four years ago. Then there was that hand sculpture and of course the spider tank. It was all the same and she couldn't help but wonder if maybe this should tell her something. Sara was lost in her own thoughts trying to sort out everything about this man she had spent years idolizing.

Grissom immediately noticed her preoccupation with her surroundings.

"I know it's probably not what you're used to Sara but maybe you can be comfortable here for one night." 

"No it's great," said Sara turning to face him. "I was just noticing how nothing has changed."

One night, thought Sara. He said one night.

Grissom looked embarrassed as he ducked his head.

"Well, you know me Sara, spiders and work are my life."

A beat passed between them before Sara quietly answered……….

"Yeah Gris……..I do know."

Another beat passed between them as Grissom slowly walked over to where Sara stood. He was so close now Sara could feel his warm breath on her face. His soft blue eyes dropped from hers to  rest on her chest where he fingered the silver pendant she was wearing.

Sara's breath caught in her throat as his fingers stroked her skin. It never ceased to amaze her what an innocent touch from him could do to her body.

"Where did you get this?" he whispered.

Sara wondered if she should tell him the truth. Hank had given it to her. She definitely didn't have any real feelings for Hank, she never did but she had loved the necklace. It was just her style, simple.

"Someone gave it too me."

He was so close now. Sara could swear she could feel his lips on her neck.

"A boyfriend?" asked Grissom as he continued to examine the silver disc with his fingers.

"Yes, but…………"

"But?"

Grissom dropped the pendant and looked back to Sara's face. He was still so close and Sara could feel the heat of his body. 

"But…………I didn't love him," she whispered.

Grissom moved his hand at his side to gently brush her arm.

"Have you ever been in love Sara?"

Oh God, What was he doing to her? Sara thought as she closed her eyes and involuntarily leaned in even closer to the object making her crazy.

Grissom puts his hands on her waist and their bodies came together so perfectly. This felt so right, thought Grissom. This was where he belonged, with her, always with her. He sighed in to her hair and closed his eyes.

"I'm in love now."


	3. First Touch

Sara could feel Grissom stiffen as soon as the words left her mouth. She immediately wished she hadn't spoken. She should have just stayed quite and let him take her where he wanted. She had tried so long to make him love her. It was time for him to be in the driver's seat. But there was nothing she could do about it now. The truth was out, her truth anyway.

Grissom released his hold on her waist and took a step back. The broken contact between them was almost painful to him but he wasn't sure and he had to be sure.

"Is it that boy again, that EMT boy?" Grissom asked with disdain.

What? Sara couldn't believe this.

"You know Grissom for an intelligent man you sure are slow on the uptake!"

Grissom gave Sara one of his confused looks.

"Honestly, Grissom I'm so sick of seeing you look at me like I'm some delirious fool.that you just can't figure out! Do you that if you ignore me long enough that I'll just go away? Well……I…."

Sara stopped her tirade. She could feel the tears springing to her eyes. From a broken heart or rage she wasn't sure but she knew she couldn't stay here another minute.

"Forget it." Sara said quietly as she bent down and grabbed her things from the couch. "I'll take my chances with the locksmith."

"Sara wait." Grissom said as he grabbed her waist again as she attempted to escape.

He pulled her in close until their lips were almost touching.

"I'm not so slow Sara," Grissom whispered.

Sara shivered as she felt his breath tickle her lips. She wanted to reach out and take his lips in hers so badly but if he wanted her he would have to come get her this time. And it just so happened this time he did………..

A beat passed between them as they thought about what could happen next. Grissom had never felt such a need to have possession of anything in his life and Sara's lips were only the beginning but he knew he had to be gentle with her.

Grissom slowly tilted his head and took Sara's lips in his for a soft kiss. 

That evening Grissom came to work only to find the Vegas night already alive with crime. There were three crime scenes waiting to be investigated. He waited anxiously in the breakroom for everyone to show up. He only hoped Catherine would be late. She always seemed to be able to pick up on anything different about him as best friends usually did and he didn't feel like explaining himself today. Besides he hadn't yet figured out just how this was going to work. Sleeping with Sara during the day and working with her at night was going to be tricky at best. Grissom winced at the thought.

"Hey boss."

Grissom was snapped from his thoughts by an always enthusiastic Nick.

"Sorry man, am I intruding? Looked like you were deep in thought there."

"No………I mean……….I was just…thinking."

"What else is new?" asked Catherine as she came in and plopped down in a seat at the table.

"Tough day Catherine? " Nick asked as he got his coffee and joined her at the table.

"Yeah you could say that." Catherine replied, her eyes never leaving Grissom.

My God, thought Grissom, does she know already?

"You look better than when I last saw you," said Catherine. "Care to explain why?" she asked with that sneaky grin of hers.

Grissom got up from the table to avoid her stare.

"Sleep Catherine. Maybe you've heard of it? It refreshes the body and revives the nervous system giving….."

Ok Gil. Spare me the textbook definition would ya? What I want to know is…….."

"You're here, good," Grissom stated as Warrick and Sara walked in.

Thank God for small miracles, thought Grissom.

"It's a busy night in Vegas tonight guys. Warrick you're on your own with a robbery, Grissom said, handing out the papers as he went.

"Yeah good evening to you too." Warrick said as he took his paper and headed out.

Catherine rolled her eyes at Nick who was always ready to offer her a smile.

"Catherine and Sara," Grissom said barely stealing a glance at Sara, "You two are on a murder at The Bellagio."

"Whoa, high profile. Are you sure you don't want to work this one with us?" asked a curious Catherine.

He knew where this was going.

"Catherine do you feel like you and Sara aren't prepared to handle this?"

"No, of course not………I mean yes. Yes we can handle this easily. I just….."

"I can't be everywhere Catherine," Grissom sighed. "Nick, you're with me."

"Yes sir,"  Nick said as walked to the door.

Grissom purposely brushed Sara's arm as he walked by. It wasn't the greeting he wanted to give but for now it would have to do.

"I guess it's just us then." Sara said quietly.

"Yeah, looks that way."

"Well………let's get going."

"Sure. Hey, you wanna tell me why you're so quiet today?" Catherine asked as they headed out the door.


End file.
